Felinoterapie, NCHK

Effective communication in felinotherapy and its relation to the Polyvagal Theory

Effective communication is not just an exchange of information. It is about engaged listening, understanding body language and other non-verbal signals, holistic understanding of the information shared from an emotional perspective, as well as influencing the stress levels of the interviewees (including one's own stress levels) through emotional coregulation. Thus, it is more a matter of listening, managing the stress of the moment, and focusing attention on both the verbal and nonverbal components of communication than it is about speaking.

Effective communication involves four basic skills :
    - 1. Engaged listening
    - 2. Non-verbal communication
    - 3. Immediate stress management (in the moment)
    - 4. Applying yourself in an individual way.

However, it is often the case that we ourselves put barriers in the way of the flow of effective communication that prevent us from objectively receiving the information being shared.

These barriers include :

    - Stress and uncontrolled emotions
As our stress and frustration levels rise, the amount of attention we give to our conversation partner(s) decreases. Emotions "color" the information that comes to us. If we don't feel safe, our neuroception may evaluate a neutral look, gesture, or facial expression from another person as a threat. If stress has reached the point where basic stress reactions are triggered, realistic, objective thinking is inhibited. At the same time, our ability not only to listen but also to hear is limited. This is the result of tension in the tiny muscles of the inner ear. 

    - Lack of concentration
If we are doing multiple things at once (listening to what someone is saying while texting or emailing), our attention is fragmented and we are not fully focused on the subtle nuances (tone of voice, non-verbal communication, etc.) of the conversation. This means we miss the essential part of the message. Attention can also be reduced when we divide our attention between multiple clients and our feline partner in the felinotherapy team.

This is also why it is so important that a strong bond of trust is established between the cat or cat we are working with and the handler, and that we really know our feline partner's non-verbal communication and behavior well. It is also important that our feline partner is able to make decisions independently and partially independent of the fact that we cannot give them 100% of our attention at certain times. In other words, the felinotherapy team must be well matched and the relationship must be based on mutual trust and knowledge of ourselves and our feline colleagues. 

    - Inconsistent body language
Body language should reflect what we express verbally. It is therefore important to know our body language, train it and monitor it so that we do not send confusing signals to the environment. The consequence could be not only a loss of trust between the handler and the clients or staff of the facility, but also confusion in the mind of our feline colleague.

  
    - Negative body language
Negative body language is the non-verbal communication of disagreement with what the other person(s) has said.  It includes : crossing arms, avoiding eye contact, tapping feet and other similar signals. If we want to communicate effectively, it is a good idea not to send these signals. This rule also applies to working with a cat, which is very aware of the negative signals we send it. These negative signals can often be the cause of training failures or the cat's reluctance to work with us.

That being said, effective communication is more listening than talking. Effective communication is about a holistic approach. We listen to the tone of voice (depth and pitch of tones, volume communicates the emotions of the speaker), we observe body language (sending negative or affirmative signals, consoling signals, upper facial expressions). We notice our own feelings as we converse and send signals of safety. In engaged listening, we do not make judgements about the other party's behaviour and opinions and we build a deeper relationship with the person we are communicating with.

By showing concern and sending signals of safety we promote low stress communication and greater openness in communicating information.This is based on the Polyvagal Theory of Dr. Steven W. Porges. 

So the difference between engaged listening and ordinary listening is big. In ordinary listening, we also focus to a large extent on what we want to say, we don't manage our emotions enough, our body language is intuitive and we don't work with our own stress levels. All of this distracts our attention and affects our energy management and brainwave frequency. We can also unconsciously send conflicting non-verbal signals. We may miss important non-verbal messages and the other party may experience feelings of misunderstanding, stress or frustration, we may appear untrustworthy . 

Types for engaged listening:

 
    - Focus fully on the speaker
    - Prioritise the right ear - the left side of the brain contains the primary speech and emotion processing centres, the left side of the brain is connected to the right side of the body 
    - Show interest in what the speaker is saying
    - Do not evaluate the content of what is being said or the personality of the speaker
    - Provide feedback
    - Perceive the emotion behind the words
    - Pay attention to the speaker's non-verbal signals
    - Pay attention to one's own non-verbal signals and control their transmission (open body language, signals that match what we say)
    - Judge body language from the context and from overall body language, not from its individual components
    - Be aware of individual and cultural differences in body language (background of the dialogue partner, nationality, etc.)

Why it is important to pay attention to non-verbal signals 
Non-verbal signals are the oldest means of communication and express the subconscious and unconscious components of communication - they are an image of neuroception (Steven W. Porges) and the body's response to safety/danger signals. Thus, they provide more information about an individual's emotional state and stress level than verbal expression.
Non-verbal signals include, but are not limited to, facial expressions - especially the upper half of the face, body movements, gestures, body tension, eye contact, pupil size, tone of voice and its pitch, muscle tension and breathing rate.

Working with stress
There are several techniques for working with stress. In particular, we need to recognise that we are feeling stress ourselves - so we need to know our reactions and notice muscle tension, breathing rate, ability to concentrate. If our body is sending us stress signals, we should focus on quickly reducing stress in ourselves and sending soothing signals to those around us. It often helps to focus on the senses - to sense objects and people around us, for example, to count five objects, five colors, calculate a simple math example, etc. This is to connect with the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for logical thinking.

Because we are each an individual, we also each have our own recipe for calming ourselves down - depending on which senses are leading the way. Breathing exercises, small pauses in conversation, bringing humor into the conversation work well - it depends on the type of conversation and the overall context. Stalling tactics to buy time to calm down can also work - for example, paraphrasing what we have heard, repeating what the other person has said, asking if we have understood what they are trying to say correctly, etc.  
Keeping stress under control is important to objectively understand what the other person is telling us (we see and hear emotionally colored information under stress). It's also important for the possibility of emotional coregulation, i.e., the ability to help reduce the other person's stress with our own calmness and equanimity. At low levels of stress, we are also able to establish the relationship with the other person needed to build a sense of security, which is essential for effective communication and learning.

Asserting yourself in effective communication
Asserting oneself in effective communication is important because it contributes to clear communication and setting rules and boundaries. These rules and boundaries, if set correctly, provide a safe space for communication and the illusion of control over the situation for both parties in the dialogue. When we incorporate assertiveness into engaged listening and effective communication, we demonstrate respect for others and ourselves and honesty. This means using clear and honest messages. It means clearly articulating opinions or requests, graciously accepting compliments or feedback, including criticism - all while respecting the needs of others as well as our own.

Positive communication of negative thoughts and feelings in terms of Polyvagal Theory
It is important to respond openly and honestly, but with consideration for others. At the same time, we need to monitor our own stress levels and work to reduce them, and try to keep ourselves on the "green path of the ventral (abdominal) vagal pathway" , i.e. to be able to communicate and establish social relationships at all times. We should work on not getting on the red pathway of the stress mobilization sympathetic escape/attack reactions, nor on the blue pathway of the dorsal (dorsal) vagal freezing and dissociation reactions. Both the red (sympathetic) and blue pathways (dorsal vagus) inhibit communication, learning and relationship building. In folklore, we might say it is important to stay on top of things and keep trying to further dialogue without succumbing to mobilizing stress reactions (attack, flight) or withdrawing into oneself (freezing).